Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
