Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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