The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
