Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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