so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
