My friends, they love my intelligence
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize