We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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