she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
