awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
