Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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