saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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