Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
