why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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