is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
