I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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