Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
