sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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