I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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