I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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