Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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