Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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