I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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