If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
