Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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