The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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