I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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