Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
