yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
