I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
His nipple licking is glorious
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
