2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
