weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
