I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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