at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You were trust falling into bushes
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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