I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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