I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize