I want to have your abortion
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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