bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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