Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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