i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
