I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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