I'm going to jail i love you
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
