he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
