New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
