She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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