My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
