pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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