Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Someone signed my nipple.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
