My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
