Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
operation harelip BJ is a go
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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