Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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