I wanna passion pit in your ass
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
