Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
