Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We need to get me chipped asap
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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