I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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