Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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