Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize