great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
