We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
