Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
