I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
