So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
