Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
