There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
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OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
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Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
All I want is dick and wine.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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