No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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