so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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