i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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