My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
