You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
